
A BRILLIANT GIRL AND HER MARRIED LIFE
A young girl who was doing very well in her academics, completed her 12th std. with top scores. On her own merit she got admission in MBBS too and maintained her position amongst top ten. After completing her internship with flying colours she also qualified post-graduation with an outstanding performance. Opening her own hospital and healing most complicated cases was her dream in life.
No sooner than she finished her PG exams her parents found her a match. The boy belonged to a large and affluent business family. Even before the PG results were out, she was engaged to this handsome, rich boy. It looked like a match made in haven! The girl, her family and friends all were delighted to have found a suitable match. It appeared as if she was born with a golden spoon! Her own hard work, the parental support and the luck, everything was shaping her world into a heavenly dreamworld.
As expected, she excelled in her PG and immediately went abroad for super-specialisation. This too she accomplished with elan!
Her wedding was planned shortly after her return to India. The marriage was like a fairytale wedding, attended by who’s who of the town. Everything was perfect. The groom was rich and handsome, the bride was brilliant and beautiful. The families were well to do and respected in the society. Even if one looked for a fault, he couldn’t find it!
Everyone blessed the newlyweds and the very next day they proceeded for 8 Nights 9 days trip abroad on a honeymoon. The trip was full of fun and joy. Both of them thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. They were playful, loving and always looking out for each other. Both of them shared beautiful photographs of themselves as well as their surroundings on social media for friends and relatives. They both jointly wrote on social media “We have decided to lead an extraordinary, happy life and we are going to look after each other. We are committed to each other not only for this life, but for at-least 7 lives ahead!”. Both side family members and friends were incredibly happy, and everybody wished them good luck. Yes, some of them even felt envious particularly her friends who felt that they were not as blessed as her.
The day they returned from honeymoon, the husband went to her and said, ‘thank you for the wonderful time. I enjoyed my days with you’. She also thanked him. The next morning, she got up a little late. She had in fact joined her husband’s big joint family of 14 members.
The husband went to her by noon and said I want to speak to you something which you must understand. “Our honeymoon is over and with that whatever fun you wanted to have on your terms is also over. Now listen to me carefully… in this house the duties of ladies are very clearly laid down and followed strictly by one and all, and it starts from very first day the girl walks in as a daughter-in-law. You need to get up in the morning by 5 o’clock then get inside the kitchen. There are 100 other areas which you need to take care of. With total focus you need to look after all 14 members in every possible way. So dear, your life starts here now.”
She said “but I would like to have my career on track at earliest. I would like to create something. I have studied so much, only with a clear intention to become a reputed Specialist Medical Professional and my dream is to contribute something back to the society. I am not a common housewife. I am a healer. I have spent all my life working towards this dream.”
He said, “Please forget about the dream. Sooner the better. In our family all bahus are professionally qualified…like lawyers, engineers and doctors. But here at home they are expected to be excellent home makers. Nothing is going to be special for you. So better accept your new reality and begin to work at it.”
She felt shattered, but she did not lose hope. She still felt that her husband cared for her and with passage of time she could convince him. As the days passed, the pressure on her continued to increase.
The newlyweds that they were, the husband had his demands. So, she was always late to bed. In the morning, she was required to join other women of the house in kitchen latest by 5 AM. She was not getting enough sleep.
She had no rest, and no one seemed to care about it. Her life had suddenly changed. The doctor inside her started crying, she started feeling cheated. She said to herself “I wanted to create so much and look where have I landed? What do I do with these so-called luxuries? I am as good as a maid servant.” Gradually the senior ladies passed on their work to her. She started crying every day. She tried to hint to her husband on various occasions about her mental state and dreams, only to be ignored.
She started feeling more and more suppressed. She could neither fulfil her dream nor could she speak about it to anybody. Whenever she tried to speak to her husband about it, he only grew angrier.
Frustrated she finally called her father and said “Papa I would like to come back home; this is not the life for which I have studied so much. All my achievements are irrelevant in this house. I was the best amongst the best, but I am like a house maid today. With no practice or study, I am as good as a 12th pass. I would like to start my new life. I want to come back home.”
To her utter shock and dismay, the father flatly refused to empathise her and asked her to manage her problems at her new abode without any recourse to return. She tried to speak to her mother too. But mother was already brainwashed by her father and spoke exactly the same language. They had a traditional way of thinking and were more concerned about the society than their own child.
Frustrated and depressed, she made one final appeal to her husband to open a hospital with family wealth. They had enough resources within family for the same. In response, she got one resounding slap across her face.
She was in so much pain, more emotional than physical that she continued crying days on end. Finally, the husband took her to a psychiatrist. The doctor prescribed some medicines. Immediate relief came but she was feeling completely drained of energy and enthusiasm. Her life with its problems remained unchanged. After she had taken medication for 6 months, she requested the doctor to increase her dose.
The doctor declined to do so due to deep concern about side effect of the medicines. He cautioned her that she could lose her childbearing ability and advised her to consult a psychologist. That was the reason why she came to me.
She had following queries:
- Can I come out of present depressed state?
- Can I feel powerful and joyful as I was prior to marriage?
- Can my husband change his attitude and help me in my career?
- If I decide to come out of marriage, can I become strong enough to forget all hurts and move forward with confidence all alone in my life?
- Knowing my present mental state can healing help me? Etc…
Her husband too visited me, and I found him to be absolutely hard wired person who said “in our family these things cannot happen. She must learn to accept or leave”.
While talking to him somewhere I felt that he was not a bad human being but was behaving this way due to his traditional upbringing. I could also feel that he loved her. He reluctantly agreed to help his wife to go through healing at subconscious level and further do capacity building to regain lost mental strength.
She passionately went through the deep healing at subconscious level. The cell level healing and capacity building changed the way she communicated to herself. With changed internal communication, she slowly but surely began communicating differently to the husband. She stopped pleading to him. In a short while, the husband realised how strong and determined she was growing. He also realised, that she was actually capable of walking out of his life if she could not fulfil her dream with him and his family.
To sum up the long story, through the healing process, she became strong enough to follow her own path without needing the approval of family or the society.
Her husband finally helped her open a hospital. Today, she is practicing with her rediscovered passion and is healing many. She uses many tools learnt during healing process with me and says this process has enabled her to obtain answers to all her questions of life.
Nobody is perfect. Capacity building is not only for the people who are facing difficulties but it should be willingly accepted by all during prime time of their life so as to lead a happy, balanced life. Having gone through cell level healing/ capacity building program you will handle the life so well, that you will not experience any disturbance and if you still experience one you will be able to handle it well.
If the entire family goes through these processes, they stop hurting each other and can make their home a temple of peace and love. Everyone can and must lead a complete and empowered life.